23.03.15 – Day 4
This morning I went over to Sky & Fleur’s paddock to give Sky a trim and build on my relationship with Fleur. Whilst I was trimming, Fleur came up and stood in the stable behind me. I have noticed that if Fleur does wander closer to me she always approaches me from behind. She seems quite happy to stay reasonably close as long as I have my back to her. If I approach her however and stop outside her personal bubble she will tolerate my presence only if I look at her with soft eyes. I.E I keep her in my field of vision but DO NOT focus on her. If I do, she will turn away immediately. How she knows I have no idea!!!! It doesn’t matter if I focus on her tail, feet or her head the effect is the same. It must be similar to that feeling you get when you just know someone is staring at you even though they are at a distance or maybe its just a real primal thing where she sees me as a predator who is focusing on its prey!
Fleur stood in the stable whilst I finished up with Sky. I must admit I did briefly think about shutting the gate as that would have made my job so much easier as she couldn’t then escape but that would have defeated the object and sent our journey on a completely different course.
I decided to climb through the bars and crouch down making myself as small as possible in the corner furthest away from her to see what she would do, after all I had been a lot closer to her out in the open. “Open” being the key word, the stable must have made her feel too vulnerable as straight away her head turned away from me.
And as soon as I moved…….well that was it ……..she was out of there!!
Today was always going to be a bit of a challenge (for me) due to the expectation which I had built up following last weeks success, even though I tried really hard not to make anything of it. Not long after she left the stable she did walk past me and when I held out my hand she stopped and gave it a sniff, this was going to be however the only high point of our time together today.
I know it was all me or at least my ego wanting to take things further. Every question or suggestion I asked of Fleur today was answered with a big NO! Not that I attempted too much but sniffing of the hand is as far as Fleur is prepared to go for now and I need to learn patience and just practice on learning to be. Who would have thought that would be so hard to do!!! I did leave today feeling disappointed, rejected and doubtful that I am just not good enough….yes my ego does like to play the victim but all I can do is look forward to our next meeting and see what it will bring….