19.03.15 – day 3
They say it is never about the horse, always the person! That is what I learnt today but I will come back to that later. Fleur was certainly a lot more relaxed with me loitering in her paddock. She wasn’t keeping the big distance between us which she was the other day. I think I also got lucky with a fortunate opportunity which changed Fleur’s perception of me. Megan’s dog came to say hello but whilst coming down the hill he took the long way around so Sky & Fleur spent quite sometime watching his arrival. When the dog finally arrived curiosity got the better of them and they both came right up to Buddy & I for a look-see. This is where the change seemed to happen for Fleur because all of a sudden she was approaching the object of her fear of her own free will. I didn’t try to interact with Fleur when she came up, and after a short while I walked off first.
After this Fleur was very tolerant of me hanging around. I didn’t push into her personal space but she seemed happy to graze about a meter away. Eventually though I just couldn’t help myself, I tried to lean in for a little touch…..of course she was off like a rocket!!! Kicking myself I sat back down under the tree to reflect on what had just happened. Why had I felt the need to push things that little bit further? There had already been a huge improvement in Fleur’s tolerance of me so why hadn’t I waited for that golden invitation?!!!
This journey that Fleur and I are on is going to be much more of a learning experience and therapy for me than Fleur I think! It dawned on me today that whenever I am in the vicinity of a horse I don’t seem to be able to just BE and simply accept what is. I constantly seem to have to DO! Maybe it is just me but when my dog comes to sit next to me I don’t suddenly feel the urge to try and get my dog to like me more, or get every tangle out of it’s tail, or dwell on whether he is showing enough respect because I am suppose to be the dominate one here!! These are just a few of the ridiculous thoughts and urges that pass through my head when I am with horses. When I am with my dog I can sit and BE quite easily so why do I feel that just because there is a horse in front of me I need to be doing something with it? I have no answer…maybe it’s conditioning….horses are not seen as pets and therefore must have a use and a purpose or we can’t justify having them…..who knows???? What I do know is that Fleur is going to teach me a lot about BEING because she will not allow much DOING!!
It was with these thoughts that I walked to the gate, Fleur was grazing next to it, as I approached she stopped, lifted her head and focused both eyes on me…..that golden invitation had arrived!!!! As I got up to her, I lent in with my hand outstretched. She gave my hand a good sniff and I walked off feeling much happier, Fleur did the DOING that time and I managed to just do the BEING.